This is to all my family and friends.
There is something I have been dealing with for a long time that I know now I can not handle on my own. I have been keeping it a secret in hopes that it would go away on its own. It began around the ages of 18 and 19 and I am now 24 and still trying to cope on my own. I think its about time I ask for some help. It really is very embarrassing for me to come to you all in this way. For my sake and the sake of our relationships I feel it is necessary. Anyways, I have been struggling with social anxiety. For those who don't know what that is...
Social anxiety disorder: Excessive fear of embarrassment in social situations that is extremely intrusive and can have debilitating effects on personal and professional relationships. Also called social phobia.
http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=14501
I know some of you might actually be quite surprised to find this out because I try my hardest to hide it well. Others of you may have suspected it, and a select few of you I have confided in. It has gotten to the point where I may not leave the house for a month. Tim has been buying all our groceries, and I don't have a job. I have even quit school because I couldn't handle it. I have pushed several of my friends away and no longer hang out with them. My family rarely sees me except for when they guilt me into making an appearance or when Tim forces me to. It's not that I don't want to spend time with you all, quite the opposite actually. I miss you all so much! It's just so hard for me to even step foot out the front door. Many of you wont understand what I'm going through. Tim doesn't understand, and neither do I. I don't really know what caused it or why. I used to be VERY outgoing. Somewhere along the way that all changed and I don't know how to get back to my old self. I want counseling for it, but I don't have insurance. I'm kind of at a loss where to go next to get help. So I just want you all to be aware of why I don't answer your phone calls or hang out with you anymore. I also want to ask for your support while I figure out how to overcome it. I miss you all very much and hope to someday get my life back.
<3 You All,
Christeena (A.K.A. Chrissy)
